Thoughtful Thursday Tip....
One of the things I have learned that has stood out for me throughout my training in Psychology, other certifications and my current training to serve the youth population that will be residing at Sandalphon’s Heart and Home is to always use a person-centered approach when connecting with clients and other associates. When you connect with people it’s important not to identify them by what they are struggling with, how they look, how they dress or what race they are, what their gender identity is, what their background or family life was or is like, or how bad off or well-rounded they may seem. When you walk into a bookstore looking for a really good book to start reading on the weekends or when you have free leisure time I doubt you take a look at the cover of a book and then say “perfect, I want this book” and then you go buy it. I’m a bookworm so I know how it works. You want the best book you can find, something that stands out, something interesting or exciting, something that catches your eye at first glance, but you still need to read the back of it to know what it is really about and then you can make a decision if you want to buy it and read it. Even the name or title of the book is not enough. “The Marrying Kind” may be more than about people who want to get married, it might be about how not to judge a person by how they look or live and dismiss them from being “the marrying kind”. “On the Doorstep of Pain” might be a fictional story about encountering pain when you walk through that door of a house with painful memories or painful events instead of a story about something painful that happened on that doorstep. There is more to the book than what you see just like there is always more to people than what you see or know about them including their name.
I have a contestant who filled out registration/interest form who appears to be black but her last name is Mexican which means her dad may be Mexican, she could be adopted by a Mexican family, she may just be a very dark-skinned Mexican, she could have gotten married very young to a Mexican man, or a whole slew of other possibilities. I will never know until I talk to her and get to know her. I know a woman who is all tatted up all over her neck and arms and from what I know about gangsters they love to tat up their faces, heads and necks because it’s a visible manifestation of their identity, what and who they associate with and when you first look at her she looks a little bit scary, like a badass gangsta momma who might not be so nice to talk to. But as I have gotten to know her and talk to her she is a quiet and watchful person just like me and I have no tattoos. She is sweet, kind, thoughtful, has a lot of kids and not intimidating at all, her tattoos are intimidating. So if I had judged her based on her tattoos I would never know what a sweet, soft-spoken quiet person she really is just like me. How funny, huh. So the next time you encounter someone that you may or may not want to get to know because of how they look or seem, be careful what you resign them to be based on how they look or “seem”. You could be wrong. We all have a story, we all deserve to be that book that is read on the back to see what awaits inside, that book that deserves to be opened and spent time with so we will know what the story is really about; what the person is truly all about aside from the cover, the outward appearance. So wait, get to know, ask questions, spend time with people who “seem” a certain way before you dismiss them. You just might dismiss the person who could change your life forever in a very good way……..
Comments